he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
