plz talk dirty to me
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm getting married
To pizza
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
