yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
