Pants 0. Shit 1.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
