He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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