You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
My feet surprised me
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
