dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
