Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
