what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Do you have feelings for this penis?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
