is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
