I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
ok first of all what the fuck
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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