Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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