Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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