I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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