Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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