And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You were trust falling into bushes
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
