I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
