The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
