i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
