he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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