Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
