I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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