if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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