my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
