we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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