That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
