for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
