He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
