Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
