Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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