Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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