hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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