Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
