he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
