TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
