I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
