Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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