i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
