YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
