Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
