My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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