tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
