I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
