she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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