so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
