We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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