Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Alive.
So much puke
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
