I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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