Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
it was like his penis was on wheels.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
