I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
