Three words: puerto rican gang bang
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
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