Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
