U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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