I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
